Tom Brady's diet is designed to make you pray for death

Even though I hate diets, there is always something appealing to me about a challenge. So, when the idea to try to do a week of Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen’s highly buzzed-about meal plan came up in a meeting, I — in a moment of poor judgment — said yes.

I should have known better. The diet was basically the opposite of what I regularly eat. There would be no bread. No cheese. No sugar, potatoes or mushrooms. There would be a lot of quinoa, kale, salmon (you know, all the things that are truly healthy). There was supposed to be no coffee, but I wouldn’t agree to the challenge without that one compromise. I needed coffee. And more importantly, my husband needed coffee.

The author’s husband, a Tom Brady mega-fanPhoto: Caitlin Abber

Yes, I enlisted my husband to do the diet with me. After all, there’s nothing worse than being on a diet while the person next to you is scarfing down a burrito. Plus, my husband is a huge, HUGE Tom Brady fan. He truly believes that Tom Brady didn’t have anything to do with those deflated balls. He has anxiety dreams where Tom Brady is disappointed in him. He even looks past Tom Brady’s tight friendship with Donald Trump. I knew he’d be game — he’s pretty much up for anything that brings him closer to Tom Terrific.

So we agreed to do this. Together. It would set us straight after a holiday season composed of too much champagne and takeout, and we would feel great and look great for an upcoming vacation. With earnest enthusiasm, I quickly began researching recipes and writing up a meal plan that we would start the next day.

Dinner, Day 1: This salmon.Photo: Caitlin Abber

Thursday

Breakfast: Coffee, Water with Lemon, Almond Milk and Berry Smoothies
Lunch: Veggie Sushi with Brown Rice
Dinner: Salmon Filets and Sauteed Kale
*prep quinoa bowls for next day’s lunch

The first day wasn’t that hard. We felt good and accomplished, and even though my salmon looked disgusting, we ate it with gusto. I prepped the quinoa bowls for lunch the following day and we went to bed that night feeling like half a million bucks.

Day 2: Not Brady-approved.Photo: Caitlin Abber

Friday

Breakfast: Coffee, Water with Lemon, Smoothies
Lunch: Quinoa & Kale Bowls
Snacks: Avocado Slices
Dinner: Baked Tofu with Veggies

The next morning we both “forgot” to bring the quinoa bowls to work. Okay, full disclosure: I actually worked from home that day and kept opening and closing the refrigerator, hoping something new would appear. Nothing did. The quinoa covered in sautéed kale kept looking at me. Sriracha has a lot of sugar in it, so I knew slathering it on top would kind of be cheating. My stomach growled. I looked at the clock. It hadn’t even been 36 hours since the diet began.

When my husband got home, I was in a state of complete fugue. “I’m exhausted,” he said, as he mindlessly poured himself a glass of wine. “Can we bail on this diet and order burgers?”
And so that’s what we did. And we were so happy about it.

Here’s why I think we failed so soon and so hard:

We don’t have a personal chef

I’m a good cook. I can make delicious pastas, soups, hearty meals for friends — but when it comes to healthy cooking, I am still learning how to sub this or add flavor to that to turn bland quinoa into something tasty and nutritious — and not a bastard version of a creamy risotto. The hubs has high cholesterol, so I should learn, but for now, I’m not talented enough to keep us alive on kale and beans.

We don’t have a ton of money

The personal chef is one thing, but we can’t even afford all of the food necessary to make this diet possible. I know that consuming loads of cheap, high-calorie food is a death sentence, but there has to be a better alternative than spending hundreds of dollars on chia seeds and coconut oil. Sure, broke people can eat healthy, too, but this diet is not for broke people.

We don’t want to spend our time prepping food we don’t want to eat

I know, I know, I should make healthy food I do want to eat. I should prep my lunches. I should make big batches of things. And sometimes I do that. Actually, just last Sunday I made a giant pot of this lemon rosemary lentil soup and it was the tits. But most weeknights? Nah, no thanks. I am happy to sautée some frozen veggies and mix in some protein, but I’m probably not going to want to eat it for lunch the next day. I live for variety and I despise routine. That’s probably why I always fail at diets — or never go on them — in the first place.

These might just sound like excuses to not at least try, but I don’t know why I even need to try in the first place. In a recent article for the Guardian, the great Lindy West discussed the issue with Oprah’s Weight Watchers campaign and the Brady-Bündchen diet, writing, “… even if you can afford a personal chef and/or have the time, money, and fortitude to follow that meal plan to the letter (it apparently requires three food dehydrators), it still will not magically transform you into Gisele Bündchen like some sort of Himalayan-salted, spirulina-laced witch’s brew. You are not her. You are you, which is enough.”

And Lindy is right. I am just me. I knew we were going to fail the Tom & Gisele diet. I knew I was going to let myself off the hook early and order those burgers within the first couple days. But I also knew I wasn’t going to feel bad about that. The fact of the matter is, my husband and I aren’t supposed to look like Gisele and Tom Brady — thankfully, it’s neither of our jobs to be super fit — so we don’t have to live like them either. Instead of feeling sad about failing at this diet, I actually feel really lucky that I can order nachos and not feel guilty about it. In that regard (and perhaps only in that regard), I am infinitely more #blessed than Gisele (woah, that’s a mindf–k).

Holding celebrities up to be bastions of health or happiness and trying to emulate them is a recipe for disappointment. We want to be happy, and we want to be healthy, but we need to do it in a way that makes sense for us — not them. And for me, sometimes that means having my cheese and eating it … often.

Sorry, Tom Brady: Quarterbacks aren’t actually that hot

As you watch Cam Newton face off against Peyton Manning later today, you might be thinking about their respective passing games, the strength of their offensive lines or whether hearing Coldplay during halftime will drain their will to play — or live.

Sports Illustrated journalist L. Jon Wertheim will have at least one other consideration in mind: whether Newton and Manning are better looking than their teammates.

“This is Your Brain on Sports,” Wertheim’s new book with psychologist Sam Sommers, takes a scientific approach to many of the quirks that guide athletes and sports fans alike, seeking to explain phenomena such as why we go crazy for T-shirt cannons (the power of “free”), or why watching rival teams lose makes us as happy as watching our own teams win (these events hit the brain’s pleasure centers in similar ways and with equivalent intensity).

One of the theories Wertheim and Sommers take on is whether quarterbacks are better looking than other players. Seeing Tom Brady with supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen, one might think the question’s been answered. But Wertheim and Sommers applied science to it, and what they found was surprising.


They cropped photos of all 32 NFL starting quarterbacks at the neck, so no uniform was visible, then did the same for wide receivers and defensive backs. They selected 100 people at random and asked them to rate the attractiveness of each face on a scale of 1 to 10.

Wertheim was shocked to find that quarterbacks ranked dead last. Asking a different 100 people and substituting linebackers for defensive backs produced the same result.

Wondering if “there was something unusual about the NFL QBs class of 2014,” they ran a third study using college quarterbacks from 20 random Division I schools. Again, the quarterbacks finished third.

The central question shifted. If quarterbacks are no better looking than their counterparts — and maybe even worse looking — then how did the position of quarterback get its leading-man image?
Wertheim and Sommers credit the halo effect, quoting economist Van Gilder as saying, “Socially, we’ve been trained to think that the quarterback is the most beautiful person on the team.”

They cite a study from the University of Michigan where two groups of students watched different videos of the same professor. In one, he “came across as warm and personable”; in the second, he “was scripted to come across much colder.”

Not only did those who watched the first video find the professor more likable, but they also gave higher scores to his nonverbal mannerisms, his French accent, and his physical attractiveness. “The friendly professor,” the authors write, “was rated as significantly better looking than the unfriendly professor. Even though they were the same guy.”

To test this effect, Wertheim and Sommers added a question to their photo array about the strength of the players’ leadership skills. The results were “pretty remarkable.”

They found that while quarterbacks may not cut it in terms of attractiveness, their faces had them rated the strongest leaders.

The authors conducted the survey again, this time dropping the attractiveness question and asking instead about leadership, intelligence, confidence, poise and social skill. Based on the photos alone, quarterbacks scored highest in all categories except confidence. And when combined into a comprehensive score of “perceived leadership quality, the quarterbacks’ superiority was statistically significant.”

‘Socially, we’ve been trained to think that the quarterback is the most beautiful person on the team.’

How was this so? For the answer, the authors turned to Nick Rule, “a psychologist who specializes in nonverbal behavior and appearance-related cues.”

“All of this has to do with our ability to perceive meaningful information from the social environment,” said Rule. “We’re constantly trying to evaluate whether something is going to be good or bad for us. Out of this has been born this ability to be really sensitive to all these little cues about how someone might behave toward us.”

Studies have produced similar results regarding the appearance of politicians. In one, people viewed head shots of congressional opponents for just one second each, then declared who they found “more competent.” Across more than 600 races, the House candidate picked as “more competent” won 67% of the time; in the Senate, 72%.

Rule said that not only has he seen similar results with corporate CEOs, but that facial appearance predicted how successful they were. “These perceptions scale with the amount of profit that a company makes,” he said.

Wertheim and Sommers, then, wanted to see if the results would be the same for quarterbacks and found that they were. Comparing the perceived leadership qualities they tested against actual results — “wins minus losses as a starter,” and their QB rating — they found that “our respondents ratings of a QB’s leadership qualities correlated positively — and statistically significantly — with both outcome variables. In other words, the more a QB looks like a leader, the more successful his actual track record tends to be.”

Why is this the case? The answer is a combination of two factors. For one, “We humans are surprisingly good at picking up the subtle facial and nonverbal cues that tell us something meaningful about other people’s social skills.”

Second, there’s the self-fulfilling prophecy factor, in that we are “surprisingly consistent in how we jump to conclusions about other people based on [their looks], and then we treat them in a way that brings out the tendencies we expect.”

“You’ve got a bunch of 8-year-olds on a football field,” says Rule. “At first, you’re arbitrarily picking who’s going to play where — mostly, it’s by body size. But for the ones who don’t clearly look like linemen, you’re going to pick the kid who seems like he’s the right one [to play quarterback].
Whether or not he does well at first, he gets plenty of practice being the quarterback. By high school he is a quarterback. And it goes on from there.”

Healthy Snacks Inspired by Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen’s Vacation Diet

Thanks to chef Allen Campbell, we now know for sure that Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen practice insanely healthy eating habits. Back in January, the couple’s Boston-based private chef revealed the 80 percent vegetable-based diet, which includes dishes like raw lasagna and green fruit roll-ups for the little ones. Brady even refuses to eat nightshades like tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants because they are not anti-inflammatory.

Now the supermodel and Super Bowl champion’s traveling chef is speaking out on their vacation diet, which—surprise, surprise—is just as strict. Joanne Gerrard Young, a holistic nutritionist, raw food chef, and creator of The Healing Cuisine education program, has been preparing clean eats for the Bündchen-Brady family at their home in Costa Rica over the last five years. According to Young, she creates “an 80/20 raw diet, with big colorful salads and lots of fresh veggies.” Bündchen will often go on a juice cleanse while visiting Costa Rica, and, of course, there’s no dessert allowed, unless it’s of the vegan, raw kind.

On a typical vacation, indulgences, like the aforementioned dessert, are aplenty. It makes sense that two people whose jobs revolve around their bodies can’t take a break even when jetting off to the beach, but it’s rather unrealistic to think that you, a mere mortal, will cleanse your way through your next vacation. However, with spring break plans looming, there’s never harm in being more mindful of your food intake while traveling. Balance is key, and bringing a stock of healthy snacks will always help ease those holiday cravings.

Above, seven treats to pack in your suitcase for your spring break so you can get just a little taste of vacationing like Tom and Gisele.

Tom Brady’s Loving Message To Wife Gisele As She Retires From Runway Modeling

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If you weren’t convinced that Tom Brady is the perfect husband, you will be after hearing what he had to say to wife Gisele Bundchen after her last show as a runway model. Read his loving message here!

STOP, this is just the cutest thing ever! Tom Brady, 37, was all smiles in the front row at Gislele Bundchen’s, 34, final show as a runway model, but his support didn’t end there. After the Colcci show during São Paulo Fashion Week on April 15, the New England Patriots quarterback took to Facebook to share a loving message for his gorgeous wife.

Gisele Bundchen Retired: Tom Brady’s Loving Message Of Support

“Congratulations Love of my Life,” he wrote. “You inspire me every day to be a better person. I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished on the runway. I have never met someone with more of a will to succeed and determination to overcome any obstacle in the way. You never cease to amazing me. Nobody loves life more than you and your beauty runs much deeper than what the eye can see. I can’t wait to see what’s next. I love you.”

Oh my gosh — it’s too much! So adorable!

On March 13, Gisele announced that, after 20 years in the industry, the Colcci show would be her last trip down the runway. Don’t fret, though! The gorgeous Brazilian’s modeling career in general isn’t over…she just won’t be hitting the catwalk anymore. We can handle that, right?!
 
Tom’s support of Gisele is so amazing, but his massive amounts of love is definitely a mutual feeling! In fact, it was just this past winter that the 34-year-old stood by her man’s side as he made a run for his fourth Super Bowl trophy.


The dream came true on Feb. 1 when the Patriots defeated the Seattle Seahawks in the championship game — and Gisele was right there to give her man a super-hot kiss once the game concluded!

Gisele Bundchen Almost Dumped Tom Brady Over Bridget Moynahan’s Pregnancy — Watch

Gisele Bündchen is finally talking about that moment in 2007 when she learned her now husband, Tom Brady had gotten his ex-girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan pregnant, while they were dating!

Gisele Bundchen is getting very real in a new interview! The 35-year-old says that when she was dating quarterback, Tom Brady, she was devastated to learn that he had gotten his ex-girlfriend at the time, Bridget Moynahan pregnant — she almost dumped him right then and there. But she is finally revealing why she didn’t kick him to the curb for cheating on her.

“It was a challenging thing because here I am, you know, thinking, I’m dating this guy, we met, and we started dating and everything is great and then this happens,” she told CBS This Morning’s Charlie Rose. “So, then I felt like I didn’t know what to do. It was kind of one of those moments of like, ‘Do I just run away?'” But then she said she couldn’t imagine life without their  8-year-old “bonus child,” John. “I think, now, eight years later, I couldn’t have asked for a sweeter bonus child.”

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Gisele and Tom got married in 2009 and had two kids: Benjamin, 5, and Vivian, 2. We love how honest she is being because so many women can relate to what she went through. Everyone thinks that Gisele is superhuman and doesn’t have problems like everyone else and this interview proves that she is as real as it gets!

'There have been arguments': Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's marriage hit by reports of strife after stress of 'deflategate'

It's been a difficult summer for Tom Brady, with his professional reputation suffering in the wake of deflategate.

And according to new reports the stresses of the scandal have had repercussions for the American football star's six-year marriage to model Gisele Bundchen. 

A source close to the sports star told People magazine: 'There have been a lot of stresses in their marriage in the last year, especially during football season.'

Scroll down for video 

'There have been arguments': Tom Brady, seen last week, left, and Gisele, seen last month, have suffered from 'stresses' in their marriage following deflategate

The source described how father-of-three, 38, can be 'nasty and cold' when engrossed in his own problems.

'Tom is singularly focused on his career and sometimes Gisele feels left out,' they said. 'There have been arguments.' 

It's undeniable that New England Patriot's star player Brady's summer has been far from relaxing, following his four-game suspension by the NFL in the wake of allegations that he tampered with a football. 

Stra player: Brady celebrates the New England Patriots victory in the Superbowl earlier this year; the star quarterback has been suspended for four games following deflategate but denies any wrongdoing

In a scandal dubbed deflategate, Brady was alleged to have conspired with two Patriots equipment employees to deflate footballs below what league rules allow, to give him a competitive edge in New England's victory over the Indianapolis Colts in January's AFC championship game. 

The quarterback strongly denies any wrongdoing. Arguments over the the suspension continue to rumble on in court, with a court allowing Brady to join his team for practise this past week. 

Meanwhile he and Gisele have spent less time together than usual, and did not celebrate their summer birthdays together.

Indeed at one point Gisele headed to Paris alone, where she was photographed wearing a burqua on a visit to a plastic surgery clinic. 

According to the New York Post, Gisele allegedly underwent an eye lift and procedures to restore her breasts that she thought were 'sagging' following her two pregnancies. 

Loving family: The couple are parents to Vivienne, two, and Benjamin, five, while Gisele is stepmother to Brady's son John from a previous relationship

However the 35-year-old regularly posts loving messages to her spouse on social media. Indeed on Brady's birthday earlier this month she posted a picture of the couple kissing, their two children on their shoulders.

 'Happy birthday my love!' wrote Gisele. 'We're so blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you for always giving us so much love. We love you! #love #family' 

The couple share two children, Benjamin, five, and Vivian, two, while Gisele is a loving stepmother to Brady's son John, eight, from his relationship with actress Bridget Moynahan.

The two began dating in December 2006 immediately after the football player split with actress Bridget, who later found she was pregnant. 

Gisele clearly enjoys being a mom and now has more time to spend with the children after retiring from the catwalk earlier this year.

A representative for Gisele did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Back to normal! Gisele Bundchen goes makeup free as she heads to Boston gym after cheering on husband Tom Brady during his Patriots win

Gisele Bundchen was back to her regular gym grind on Tuesday morning.

The 35-year-old Vogue model seemed laser focused as she headed to a workout session in Boston,  not far from where she shares a mansion with husband Tom Brady, 38.

This sighting comes after the Brazilian bombshell cheered on her spouse's team The New England Patriots as they defeated the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday. The beauty had tweeted, 'Let's go Pats!!!!

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Not lazy: Gisele Bundchen was back to her regular gym grind on Tuesday morning. The 35-year-old Vogue model seemed laser focused as she headed to a workout session in Boston

On call: The mother of two looked to be in a serious mood as she kept her head down while chatting on her black cell phone

The mother of two - she has son Benjamin, aged five, and daughter Vivian, aged two, with Tom - looked to be in a serious mood as she kept her head down while chatting on her cell phone.

And Bundchen was dressed for the chilly autumn air as she wore a blue sweatshirt with capri leggings and cozy-looking black UGG boots.

The Versace favorite left her designer purse at home and instead carried a silver shopping bag.

Bundled: Bundchen was dressed for the chilly autumn air as she wore a sweatshirt with capri leggings and cozy-looking black UGG boots

No high-end purse here: The Versace favorite left her designer bag at home and instead carried a silver shopping bag

The model appears to be back to her normal grind after summer rumours that she was on the outs with her NFL husband.

UsWeekly reported the two were arguing as strain grew from Tom's involvement with Deflategate.

The site even alleged that she had threatened the athlete with divorce. 'Tom’s become very nasty and irritable and started acting out on her,' a source told the weekly.

Her man is a winner: This sighting comes after the Brazilian bombshell cheered on her spouse's team The New England Patriots as they defeated the Indianapolis Colts on Sunday. The beauty had tweeted, 'Let's go Pats!!!!'

A model too: Last week Tom called the cover girl his 'best friend' when speaking with Entertainment Tonight at a Tag Heuer event in New York City. 'We spend as much time as we can together, and you know, it’s a busy life we have and we have three kids,' he said

Indeed, the couple looked unhappy in August and September as they dealt with the legal mess that stemmed from accusations Tom was a part of deflating footballs before the Superbowl. 

But since the drama ended when a judge dismissed Brady's suspension from playing ball, the two seem to be in a better lace.

Last week Tom even called the cover girl his 'best friend' when speaking with Entertainment Tonight at a Tag Heuer event in New York City.

'We spend as much time as we can together, and you know, it’s a busy life we have and we have three kids,' he said.

Brady continued, 'It’s busy schedules busy for me, [but] she still works a lot so don’t let that retirement fool you. She works more than any retired person I know.'

They seem A-OK: The model appears to be back to her normal grind after summer rumours that she was on the outs with her NFL husband. UsWeekly reported the two were arguing as strain grew from Tom's involvement with Deflategate; here they are seen in February

A family unit: She has son Benjamin, aged five, and daughter Vivian, aged two with Tom; here they are seen in August 2014

Gisele and Tom wed in 2009. Before that she dated Leonardo DiCaprio for five years. 

The leggy Elle cover girl has proven to be very busy as she is working on a $700 book with Taschen (she will donate her proceeds to charity).

On Monday, she shared a cute Instagram clip where she is wearing Brazilian label Colcci's honorary top, especially made for her final stint on the runway.

Gisele wrote, 'To my dear fans who asked about the shirts of the show, they are already available in stores @colccioficial!'

She doesn't waste food: Over the weekend the mannequin shared this photo to Instagram where she revealed she used the veggies from the night before to make this soup from her mother's recipe

The supermodel also explained that 15% of the proceeds will be donated to the Ayrton Senna Institute.

Seen with her long golden tresses loose around her shoulders, the mother-of-two shows off the back of the garment which bears the slogan 'The best is yet to come'. She then spins around to shoot a cheeky finger at the camera before flashing the front of her top, pointing to it with a wink.

The world's highest paid supermodel strutted her stuff for the last time during São Paulo fashion week in April.

Before hitting the runway, she took to Instagram to announce her decision: 'I am grateful that at 14, I was given the opportunity to start this journey. Today after 20 years in the industry, it is a privilege to be doing my last fashion show by choice and yet still be working in other facets of the business.'